Friday, September 17, 2010

Bitterness This is the jammed out version

This is a song I wrote its about loss and dealing with lossing someone whatever the context

Now your here now your gone
Don't feel like sticken around
can't understand why your gone
don't wanna talk leave it all on the floor
theres been times when I've been down
never thought it end that way


and now try to think about better days
but it ain't the same it ain't the same
miss your face and the ghost still there
never gonna change never gonnna change
Its time we get around the pain let it all out

Verse 2

your the one that said
many cats are the death of a mouse
wake up still in pain
let it out let it out


Thursday, September 9, 2010

School is wow

So I'm back in school and you know what the last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy. Lots and lots of reading like I'm about to explode so I came up with a great ideal hey if the reading doesn't have an assignment attached to it there is no reason to stress if I don't get all of it done. I'm about to finish the Nun for Modern European History so that has an assignment attached therefor is more important. For instance in my Western Traditions class I have all this reading which by the way is immpossible to do but you know what this lady is a blow hard so even if I don't finish all the reading I can do the writting assignments because they are open ended basically write something and get a good grade. I was just thinking don't these professors know you have a life like sorry I'm not committed to education 24 hours. This is my schedule monday class 3:30pm-6:15pm, Tuesday 5:00pm-7:45pm, and Wednesday 3:30-9:15 pm or as I call it crazy day. Luckly work isn't that bad Thursday 1-10pm, Friday 1-10pm, Satuday 3-10pm. So here is the key to success people this coming from a veteran college student read but only if assignments or grades depend on it. This will cut down on wasted reading. Anyways now things are much easier or at least managable. P.s. I might be working Monday 9:00 am-2:00pm not sure though if Vickie just scheduled me just this week because it was labor day or this is a regular thing.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Been listening to Pond again

There is something about this song called Tree which by the way i learned by ear. Also if your looking for tabs there are no tabs.

Anyway I put the link if you want to read the lyrics or if you are like me ponder them. Its kinda like Blink 182's Adam song in that there is both a legend there and actual meaning. Anyway back to Pond the music is very somber slow and driving and moving at a marching pace as to say slow down and just think the lyrics start with a cast of depression over them and possibly a thought. The opening lyrics "Mama Mama I have fell! Slipped into the wishing well paid my price I'm now in hell." As the reader or listening some people consider themselves more focused on music or lyrics. Myself I like the music more. To prove this I started listening to this particular album at least a year ago by the way Pond's self titled album is a great album filled with experimental music that sets them apart from music of the time so i highly recommend it. Anyway back to my point I didn't notice the depth of the lyrics until listening to this album at least a couple of times but eventually the lyrics started to weigh on me. The opening lyrics say it all remember a time when you came running to your parents when you had a problem well this opening line. Further on the lyrics read "Tuck me in read a story." These lyrics again forum a security net of childhood or a time of no worries. Than the song continues " It's a life of daily grind forget what all our hopes and dreams are." These lyrics suggest a struggle of dealing with the real world and not having a safety net as an adult. The lyrics continue going back to the thought of drowning because you can't swim but once again the safety net is there hints the " Papa, Papa!" stated by the writer again brings up the fact of the safety net. Another noticeable dynamic in the song is the difference in singers Charlie Campbell and Chris Brady take turns on vocals. The song starts in a lower register and starts with the parts about the safety net than the more angsty voice takes over when confronted with the adult life transition this shows the depression of thinking back at easier times and the anger and frustration occurring at the current time in life. The singing concludes with the singer asking " Am I last tree standing" this is not found in the lyrics but is in the song. This is a metaphor oh and how I love metaphors about feeling alone almost as a question am I really alone. People may ask how do you get this from a song that is layered in Eastern sounding guitar and slightly out of place lead guitar parts coupled with a primal beat and pulsing bass. The answer is the band is doing something to disguise the lyrics. I mean would you really want to put up with a song that is so depressing the answer is surely no. Exactly why the band made the song catchy to soften the blow of the lyrics. So this is my best attempt at understanding the song hey let me know what you think after all I like discussions on dumb songs lol. I spend way to much time thinking about the meanings of songs.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I watched one of the best documentaries I have ever seen. The documentary was called Vietnam Homecoming. The subject matter follows Vietnam Veterans on their way to Branson, Missouri for the annual Welcome Home Parade that is held every year. I cried multiple times throughout the movie and yes I am willing to admit it because if this documentary doesn't move you I don't know what will. The interviews range in subject starting with the veterans return home and being disgraced upon returning home. These included everything from being spit on and having people calling them baby killers. Than the film describes the unique problem being faced with Vietnam Veterans that being a lack of closure and PTSD or (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The Veterans reflect on living with the memories and the problems with families including Alcohol Abuse, and the affects on their marriages. Ultimately upon returning from war veterans from Vietnam could not discuss the war due to the backlass and felt abandoned and alone.

Why am I writting this Blog you ask its simple my brother is a Veteran of the Iraq war and is currently serving in Afghanistan. I hope that we can appericate every Veterans sacrifice and never ever repeat the disrespect showen to our soldiers. I was very pleased with this documentary that the History Channel made and that it honored our Vietnam Veterans.

God Bless America

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

So Idk

I have the next two days off put I have a real dilemma. Now that I'm going to UH West oahu I now have to take evening classes but have no Idea how many hours I can work. I'm not so much worried about it because things always work out. I haven't heard from my best friend in a least a week I can't help but wonder if something is wrong. I also have no way of knowing what is going on because he is not answering his phone. Other than that I think I'm going to talk to someone at UH West Oahu about registering and what I need to do.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Not sure what to write about today

I have tomorrow off thank god work has been crazy found a new podcast to listen called Dan Carlin's Hardcore History it is very good. The one I first listened to was the history of children and how being a child must have been crazy back then. Dan Carlin is a reporter in Oregon and is a hugh history buff. He talks about subjects that are often ignored by most history books. In the history of children Dan says he had a hard time finding material on children because they are often ignored in history. Dan also researches extensively for episodes including reading multiple books and sources. You can tell because he will quote authors and particular books. However Dan does a good job of not making it boring because Dan is just a normal guy not a high and mighty above your head guy he makes it relate. I than listened to the four part series on the Eastern Front of World War II which is largely ignored by most Western Historians. The truth is most of the War was fought on the Eastern Front with so many people dying in fact there are places where bones sill litter the land in Russia. I couldn't believe this when Dan said that but neither could Dan but its true. Most Holocaust death camps were located on the Eastern Front and a total of 70 Million people died on the Eastern Front. Including 30 Million Civilians which is unheard of today. The simple Fact is World War 2 was fought and won on the Eastern Front the battles were so destructive even today the death total continues to climb. Also many horrific scenes including the slaughting of 250,000 brave Poles who seeing the Russians Closing in on Warsaw revolted against the Nazis. Holding on against all odds they held out for weeks one Leader declared " We love Freedom more than Life." After being deafeated the city was massacred so bad was the actions of the Commanding German officer he was executed for his actions. The Russians themselves were not above this cause many raping and killing German Civilians.
The story of the Poles feeling freedom so close and taking action to bring freedom from the Nazi's only to quickly realize they would be crushed by the Nazi soldiers and still fight simply unexplainable. The Quote itself says it all "we love freedom more than life." It says we would rather die free than in captivity. I imagined myself in the same spot I could not imagine myself being able to commit to a certain death. I don't think many of us could do it. Throughout History people have stood up for Freedom but it is most apperictaed by those who have none.
I would like to end with a quote that explains this concept. "Freedom is the will to be responsible for ourselves." Nietzsche 1888. That is to say that with freedom you can no longer blame others for your problems instead it says you are responsible for yourself and your wellbeing. Therefore in the case of the Poles to have Freedom they took responsiblity for themselves and fight for what was theirs freedom. That is why the Poles laid down their lives they took control and decided to say enough is enough.
Well anyways have a great day.